My Resolve
By Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora
Tuesday 18 May 2010 (0857h)
From being broken into pieces by the one I loved the most
To being crushed by the crush I had on he I called my bro
Seeing my ex, My very first love, simply tore me in two
I now I deal with the disappointment of blindly losing you
2010 refuses me any guy who's come around
Dumped, crushed and self-rejected (and the other guy's not even in town)
I've tried giving up and live for nobody but me
But it's left me cold, tired, confused and feeling empty
My true love left me to be with someone else
And now I'm one of five you had to choose - The one left fending for herself
Don't feel bad or sorry, I know I'm not a disgrace
I must admit I've grown accustomed to coming in last place
There's nothing left that I can do, so I'll leave it up to fate
Maybe someone will find me in a month or a year - There's no time that's too late
I'm not gonna sit around waiting for a guy, I'm not that kind of girl
But I'll give chance to one who might cross my path and say that I'm his world
For now I'll just stick to my friends - The people I love so much
And by my side God will always stay, so I know I shall never be lost
So thanks so much to those who care; To you my happiness I owe
You guys mean so much to me (That's just something I thought you should know)
Copyright (c) Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora, 2010
18 May 2010
Don't...
By Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora
Sunday 16 May 2010 (1918h)
Don't base your decision on anything I've said,
Don't think your decision is anything to regret,
Make your decision yours from the start,
Don't make it unless you're listening to your heart.
Don't say a word unless it's what you want to say,
Don't do anything unless you're doing it your way,
Make sure you're the only one who will choose,
Don't leave your fate up to anyone but you.
You say you need time to think about your life,
You need to figure out how you're feeling inside,
Just know I understand cause I've felt that way before,
But I let someone else push me aside and take the floor.
I don't want to be the one to do that to you,
What happens in your life has to be what you choose,
So think to yourself what you think you truly need,
Do it your way and at your own speed.
If you don't need anyone or have somebody else,
I won't stop talking to you or feel sorry for myself,
I'll always be your friend and be proud of how you've grown,
Don't worry about me love, cause I'm used to being alone...
Copyright (c) Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora, 2010
16 May 2010
Do you know...?
By Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora
Saturday 15 May 2010 (2323h)
Do you know how it feels to not be content,
With a life that seems like it is truly heaven sent?
Do you know what it's like to have the best friends on earth,
But still feel so lonely and down in the dirt?
Do you know how it feels when you can't go to sleep,
Cuz you're tossing and turning with thoughts so deep?
Do you know what it's like to reach out in the dark,
In your sleep trying to find someone to hold your heart?
Do you know what it's like to still be in a dream,
And you realize everything isn't all that it seems?
Do you know how it feels to be half awake,
And not realize every move that you make?
Do you know what it's like to reach out for someone to hold,
Half asleep, half awake, with nowhere to go?
Do you know how it feels to cry to those who care,
Cuz you still feel so lonely even though they are there?
Do you know how it feels to always be in need,
Always dependent on knight with a white steed?
Do you know what it's like to try and to try,
To live for yourself and not for a guy?
Do you know what it's like to feel like you're a pest,
Yet still by your side, your friends remain the best?
Do you know how it feels to want to be alone,
Yet your heart haunts you in your sleep and in your home?
Do you know?
Do you know...?
I wish I could say no...
I wish I did'nt know!
Copyright (c) Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora, 2010
15 May 2010
I wish...
By Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora
Saturday 15 May 2010 (0237h)
I wish I could tell you something I just realized tonight,
But I'm afraid you're gonna freak out and stop talking to me out of fright.
I wish I could say something you said to me only once before,
But I'm scared because I fear that you don't feel that way no more...
I wish I could tell you the words in my head,
I'm bursting with all my crazy thoughts wen I'm in bed.
When I go to sleep and dream what I do,
I dream that I finally find the courage to tell you...
I wish I could say what you said to me once before,
But I'm scared that you wont wanna say it no more.
So I'll keep to myself what I want so bad to say,
And dream that I manage to tell you one day...
Copyright (c) Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora, 2010
15 May 2010
