Days go by and nights run past
And as they do, my head is spinning.
Thoughts run quick and rapidly through my mind.
Things seem so confusing, yet so great at the same time!
What is happening to me?
I didn't mean to fall...
I liked you, I really did. A Crush. But i thought that would be it.
I don't know how you pulled me in deeper than i wanted to go;
With your charm, and your humour, and how sweet you are...
And the way we talk to each other... All the time.
And yet... I find it hard to object.
Because I've grown to discover that I like you a lot more than i thought I ever would...
But I don't know what to think!
It feels so nice to see and live in the care you show for me...
But I'm Scared!
Scared that if I fall too hard again, and get too attached...
Then you'll break my heart...
Just like he did.
And once was enough for me...
Once was too much.
What do I do?
What do I do when my world is being torn apart,
When my world's coming to an end,
Simply because my heart's too scared to live again,
To catch that warm inviting fire of closeness to another,
Another as sweet and charming as yourself...
For Fear of being broken once more.
Time moves forward,
And as it does, I go with it.
With you pulling me along every step of the way.
What should I think when the forces of life seem to be crushing down upon me?
I'm falling again.
Falling Hard! And I didn't mean to.
But I Like It... And at the same time, I'm Scared of it!
Because the pieces left of what used to be my heart,
Refuse to feel the piercing pain of being broken once again.
And I then ask for help,
Help from an old crush... A Close Friend.
He wants me to go with it,
He says its a good thing...
(Even though he doesn't like you all that much)
He wants me to Live!
But he too fears that I will break once more...
That my heart will break again, if I give it away to you.
He changes direction, sharp and fast,
And says that I should keep myself at enough distance...
As to not fall so hard... Like I did before.
Like I did when I gave my heart and soul to he who broke my heart for the first time in my life.
He I sacrificed so much for, and got heartbreak in return.
He doesn't want that to happen to me again...
Will you be the one to break it a second time?
Seeing as you're the second person in my life I really fall for...?
Will I fall so hard again that I can no longer get up?
Will I be the one to ruin myself in search of a new beginning?
Or will you let me keep at a good enough distance where I will not have to cry when you can't stay?
Or will you stay?
It doesn't matter anymore, because I want to live my life without fear!
So whatever the consequence, I'll take the risk!
Cuz for all I know, You're worth it!
Just as he was worth it... Giving me the experience of a lifetime...
You could be worth it all,
But the future is unknown, and hard to predict.
Yes, I'm scared of being broken once more!
But I Do Not want to simply exist... Without living my life!
So for now, I wont think about it!
For now, I go with where the winds of life take me!
And if its leading me to you, that's just where I'll go!
Cuz life's not worth living if I'm trapped behind my own fears,
Simply existing... but not loving... not Living...
I've learned the hard way that there is no such thing as Forever.
But in this moment in time, my forever is Right Now!!!
So I'll take what I'm given and run every risk...
And endure the consequences in the end.
But for now, I live with no thought of what might happen.
And I turn my back on the past,
Close my eyes to the future...
And just Live... Live in the moment!
Live for now... The Present!!!
And see what surprises this thing we call life shall throw my way!
Yours Truly,
Baby May!
Much Luv!!!
XoXoXoXoXoX
No comments:
Post a Comment