Lost

Lost
By Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora
Wednesday 25 March 2009 (0821h)

Travelling within the cold shadows of my
Mind, I feel the damp chill of a
Stubborn heart, a stubborn girl
Difficulties fly at me one after the other
Piling and piling on top of one another
Cracking my spine as the load on my back gets bigger
Day to night the random mess
Flying around within my throbing head
With all my complex thoughts and mindsets
One might think this difficult life I live is
Nothing but hurt and misery
But no...
It is challenge to test human endurance
It is hidden strength waiting to be set free
It is life shaping and moulding me into someone
Who will make loved ones proud and be proud of them in return
Underneath the pain and tears
Is one of the strongest, wisest people I know
An understanding soul that suffers with you through your pain
And endures by your side always
Not because she is forced to
But because she wants to
Underneath the anger and troubles
Lies a heart that has been
Carelessly tossed around and broken so many times
But reassembled with passing time each time by the strength within
The scars always remaining
But not reminding of the pain and sudffering
But reminding of the experience and wisdom gained from it
A heart that loves and cares
No matter how many times it continues to get scarred
By those it cares most about
Most would think a person with so much
Betrayal and anguish within herself
Would be tired of the life she lives
But no...
These complexities and thoughts
My troublesome mindset
My ability to feel hurt
The emotions I show
That I'm always so open about
They make me who I am
They make me better
They make me see and understand that
Though I get diminished and worn out
By my own mind and emotion
I am better off than those who
Don't care who they are
Dont care how they are
Or how they live
Living without feeling
Living simply for living untill it's
Time for them to leave the planet and
Go into the forever-after we're all destined for
The reckless actions and
Uncaring lifestyle they hold
That's not for me
I Live for me
I live for those I love
I live a life that I want to
Remember always as it is
A full and fulfilling life that
Not only makes a difference to me but
Also to those I care about
Those I once cared for
And those I'm sure to care for in the future
All this leaves me with a
Small glint in my eye and a smile lingering on the edges of my lips
Behind the tears and sadness
That take over my face
Lies a sparkle
A face so true in itself
Showing confidence and a will to
Never be
Lost...

xoxoxoxox

Copyright (c) Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora, 2009 
25 March 2009